Balance Awareness Week 2023: Airport Spins

Image by Joshua Woroniecki from Pixabay

Making my way through the queue barriers, zig-zagging through the empty pathway, I feel like a mouse in some cruel maze experiment; dizzy and weary. 

I reach the queue at the security screening area and start to feel disorientated and lightheaded. It’s the height of the summer and travellers are packed into a small area, taking liquids and electronics out of their bags, grabbing extra trays, and walking through the scanners. The airport workers are shouting instructions: “Take out all your liquids, remove your belts, move forward.” I remove my laptop from my bag and place my phone next to it in the tray. I walk through the scanner, feeling slightly queasy. 

The artificial lighting causes pain behind my eyes. While standing by the conveyor belt, I notice my bag has been selected to be searched, while my laptop and phone pass through the scanners in their tray. I collect my belongings from the tray and go to stand near a wall where I can see the airport worker who is holding up people’s bags to be checked. My partner comes to stand next to me. 

I begin to feel hot. My surroundings are spinning. I cling to my laptop. Deep breaths. I focus on looking forward. My ears are ringing and the feeling of pressure in my head is building. 

The airport security officer checks a traveller’s bag, removing the forgotten liquids and putting them in a tray. Next, one of the traveler’s friends is called over and his bag is also checked. They’re part of a small group of guys travelling together, who are laughing and chatting. 

Voices are loud and distorted. People are walking past in a constant stream, leaving the area. I’m unsteady and overwhelmed. I lean against the wall, which offers support. Deep breaths. Time slows down. Ten minutes feel like multiple hours, as I wait to be called. 

Finally, I see the officer holding up my bag and I make my way to a metal table. I struggle to hear her instructions and tell her I am hard of hearing. She speaks across the table to me in a clear voice and I proceed to open each section of my bag for her to check. We find the culprit—a small bottle of hand sanitizer tucked away in the front pocket. I’m annoyed at myself. I could have spared myself this unnecessary overwhelm if I had just checked more carefully. I focus on remaining composed, smiling as the airport worker hands me my bag. 

I make my way out of the security area, through a corridor towards the Departures area. My knees buckle and I crouch down. The buzzing in my ears reaches a crescendo. I’m hot and the lights are unbearably bright. Disorientated. My partner helps me towards a chair and I sit down. Hunched over, staring at the floor. Exhausted. Embarrassed. Frustrated.

I am a seasoned traveller, living with Ménières disease and vestibular migraines. I am determined not to let my vestibular conditions stop me from exploring the world and visiting friends and family. But, it can be hard. Triggers such as visually busy environments and artificial lighting cause me to feel unbalanced and have heightened sensitivity to visual and audio stimuli. I have moments of feeling dizzy and disorientated, my tinnitus increases, my head aches with a feeling of pressure, and sometimes I feel nauseated. 

I’m writing this for anyone who finds busy and bright environments challenging: Know you are not alone. This recount is also for loved ones of those with vestibular disorders to hopefully stumble across one day. I hope my story will help them understand how difficult busy environments such as airports can be for people with vestibular disorders.

Do you also have a vestibular disorder? What environments do you find challenging?  Please share your experiences in the comments.